Recovering the Family (Part 2)

"A bishop [literally, 'overseer'] then must be...one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?). - I Tim. 3:2,4,5

This text is taken from the Divinely-given list of graces and gifts required in any man considered for the pastoral office. As one ponders this list, it becomes apparent that, with the exception of the gift of being able to teach, virtually everything that is required involves virtue which all Christian men ought to strive to possess. Every Christian man ought to "rule" (literally 'lead') his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence." Surely this is the standard for non-Christian men also, but it is a pressing imperative for believing men because it is the will of Christ their Lord.

Of all the severe problems in the American family, thus in the entire American culture, none has been more critical than the failure of husbands and fathers to be faithful rulers according to God's design. God has sovereignly assigned the authority for domestic government unto the man. It is not merely his responsibility to provide materially for his family, he is to direct the affairs of his household in such a way that his wife and children are supplied with physical, spiritual, and emotional security, while also receiving clear guidance in the great issues of life. The man is to be the teacher who instructs his family in the knowledge of God and salvation, also in the demands of moral and ethical uprightness. He is to see to it that his children respect authority, show deference to the rights of others, attend with diligence to their own responsibilities, and exercise self-control over their personal passions (such as anger and sexual desire). The man is to lead his wife so that she prospers in the totality of her being while also serving her family with contentment. The wife of a godly husband will never need to seek for a sense of dignity and worth and appreciation outside her family. She will know that her labors in the home are highly prized and are of immeasurable worth; her husband will supply that confidence to her.

How few American husbands and fathers pursue, much less achieve this standard! For many this standard does not even exist, they have no recognition of it. For others this standard is of no interest to them, they are much too busy climbing corporate and social ladders or pursuing their personal pleasures to be concerned about ruling their families well. Thus we have unfulfilled, discontented, and even morally wronged wives. Thus we have children and young people growing up without direction or control. Thus we have disorderly families and a collapsing society.

The recovery of the American family must begin with men. There must be a restoration of Biblical manhood involving a special blend of aggressive, principled leadership with tender care and understanding. Let us plead with Christ for the revival of such manhood.