Qualified To Be A Parent?

What qualifies an individual to undertake the incredible work of parenting another human being? Is nothing more required than the physiological capacity to reproduce? Is "love," by someone's subjective definition, sufficient ground to become a parent? Does an "accidental conception" constitute compelling reason to assume the role of parent (speaking primarily of pregnancies owing to fornication)? (Remember that adoption is a most honorable alternative---abortion is murder.)

These questions must be answered. They are questions for parents. They are questions for individuals of child-bearing age. They are questions for churches to help society resolve accurately.

Many children are not being adequately parented. Some are not receiving basic physical nurturing: food, shelter, clothing, protection, attention to illness and injury. Many more are not being trained in uprightness or in responsible behavior. They are learning almost nothing about being honest, respectful of authority, respectful toward the life and property of others, sexually moral, fulfilling obligations appropriately, and performing on every level to the maximum of their ability. Rarely do you find a young person whose parents are conscientiously striving to instill all of these virtues in their children. Those young people receiving such nurturing stand head and shoulders above their peers.

What is the problem? The young people themselves seem to be the problem - and indeed they are in a certain respect . But the fundamental fault rests with the parents. That ought to be recognized!

What might help to correct the problem of parental fault and failure? Here are a few basic solutions:

  1. Parents need desperately the fundamental conviction that God gives children to the end that they be reared for His glory, according to His order. This order requires that: parents be married in keeping with moral law; parents be followers of Jesus Christ by faith, with repentance; parents uphold and teach God's moral law; parents aim at bringing their children to Christ and to holiness.
  2. Parents must recognize that rearing children requires close personal involvement and arduous labor all the way to adulthood. Parents must assume responsibility for all that their children do, learn, and become. It is proper to utilize the skills of others (physicians; teachers; pastors); but parents are responsible. Thus, there is no room for parental indolence and detachment. Career, recreation, socializing must be subordinated to the higher, more glorious task of bringing children to well established maturity. It is a task requiring the dedication of both father and mother.
  3. Parents must put to death all the vestiges of pride and self-centeredness. The reference here is to the thought of making children the stepping stones of our own aggrandizement, living out frustrated dreams through our children, being "stage" parents. The glory of God is the target, not the glory of Dad or Mom.
  4. Parents must purpose to lead their children into the perspectives and skills necessary to become the proper parents of their grandchildren. One thing is more frightening than watching many of our current generation of young people enter adulthood and that is watching their children become adults.

These are a few basic, unsophisticated suggestions. Is anyone listening? Does anyone care? Let's pray so!